The kids are finally out of the house. And even though you may have dreamed of this day while they were in their teenage years, being an empty nester may not be what you thought. It’s a weird transition. The house is quiet. You aren’t seeing your kids every day. And for the first time in years, it’s just you and your spouse.

As a couple, you are in this together. Use each other for support as you enter this new phase in your life. If you do not know where to start, try these tips and suggestions so that you can make this transition with love and growth.

Communicate.

Any transition can be uncomfortable. But don’t let these new feelings distance you from your partner. You have more time than ever to communicate and understand each other’s feelings at this time. Use it.

Just because you have been with your partner for a long time, does not mean you can completely predict their feelings in each new phase of your life. And if you are feeling lonely, confused, or anxious about the future, tell them. Use your partner as support. Find ways that the two of you can make this time about your relationship and starting a new phase together.

Make the Empty Nest Your Nest.

We’ve all heard the cliché about parents turning their kids’ rooms into home gyms and office spaces after they’ve moved out. But it’s a cliché for a reason. The reality is, remodeling and redoing the spaces in your house gives you and your spouse a project to work on while you are sitting at home and missing your busy family life. Plus, you get to create something together that both of you can use and enjoy.

Your kids may be a little confused when they come home to visit. But they’ll be glad to know that their room is now dedicated to something that makes you happy. And it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to lose out on the sleeping space so they can stay over from time-to-time. Simply get something like a futon or air mattress that can be easily put away or has a secondary use that fits your new room.

Have More Date Nights.

With kids in the house, planning date nights is often a huge endeavor that may involve planning weeks ahead, getting sitters, and more. But now you’re not held back from each other any longer.

You don’t have to plan food around your children, so make mealtime with your partner special. Plan empty nest date nights. Rent a movie. Cook each other a special meal. Set up a “spa treatment” in your living room. Your nest is now a place solely dedicated to you, your partner, and your relationship. And, of course, you now have more freedom to actually leave your nest together for a bit of romance as well. Take advantage of it!

Get Out and Get Moving.

Finding a hobby, exercise routine, or class that will get you and your partner moving is a great way to learn something new, improve your health, or simply have a nice time out of the house.

Whether you and your spouse find a project, hobby, or a new focus on falling in love, encourage each other. These are your golden years; make them shine!

Need help? Talk to a relationship therapist in Delaware.

We grow every day by shifting our perspective and learning new things. One of the most fulfilling benefits of being in a relationship is growing and changing with your partner.

There are many ways that you will go through this process automatically, but if you would like to be more active, taking a class with your partner is a wonderful way to form a unique bond, create fun memories, and even inspire future date nights with your partner.

What are some examples of classes that may be fun to experience together?

Take a foreign language class. A new language will give you an additional way to express your love for your partner, and it may just inspire the destination for a future romantic vacation. Look for classes in French, Spanish, Portuguese, or Italian; these four are considered the “romance languages.”

Learn American Sign Language. Have young children and no time for an exotic vacation? “Sign” up for sign language classes – your whole family can get involved! Babies as young as six months old can learn and communicate through sign language, so if you have a very young family member, seek out Baby Signing Classes that utilize ASL. Learning sign language together will help every member of your family communicate more effectively.

Enjoy cooking classes. Courses that teach you how to cook can be the perfect setting for a fun date night out – plus, they provide a good excuse for future date nights in! Get close to your partner in the kitchen and learn a new dish for parties, potlucks, or a romantic evening at home. Learning exotic dishes will also help you immerse yourself in a new culture and take a sort of mini-vacation – without having to go through a security check!

Let your inner Picasso out. Art classes provide many different ways to get creative and add a personal piece of art to your home. Find a medium that interests both of you: painting, sculpting, pottery, and so on. You can also consider “painting and wine” classes that couple learning with sharing a class of vino! Even if you’re not the next Picasso, you and your partner can use the opportunity to loosen up and laugh at each other’s creations.

Let’s get physical! Taking a class can engage way more than your brain. By learning a new sport or unique form of exercise with your partner, both of you can get your muscles moving and your endorphins pumping! Browse through classes at your local gym, community center, or YMCA. Martial arts, capoeira, massage, or yoga can give you and your partner a new perspective on activities and exercising around the world.

Cut a rug. Speaking of getting physical, one of the best “couples’ learning” experiences has to be taking a dance class. Impress all of your friends and family members at the next wedding or party with a fun ballroom, tango, or salsa routine. Dancing also allows you and your partner to get intimate while having fun and learning something new. It can even help to spice up your love life!

These are just a few possibilities. Browse through listings in your area to find something that appeals to you or your partner. Have an open mind, and be willing to take a leap and try something totally different.

Learning new things with your partner can stimulate your mind, growth, and relationship.

If you think the standard 40-hour work week is plenty, you may have trouble connecting with a partner for whom work is the “primary focus” of their life. But such troubles are not deal-breakers, and a couple that values other qualities beyond career goals can successfully compromise their differences in work-life scheduling.

To you, it may seem like your partner values their career over your relationship. This is not uncommon—many people cite conflicts over work schedule as the reason for ending a relationship. In fact, some data suggests that workaholics have twice the divorce rate compared to the rest of the population.

Here are some tips from a Delaware therapist to help your relationship survive if your partner is a workaholic:

Try to understand their side. It’s important to try to understand the why behind your partner’s attitude towards work. Sit down and have an open conversation about what your partner gets from their career.

In some cases, it may be a temporary situation—your partner may need to put in some extra hours in a new career path, or to achieve a specific career goal. They may feel it’s necessary to support their family, or to earn a better future for the both of you.

Other times, “workaholism” is a symptom of a deeper issue. Perhaps your partner is working excessively to combat depression or feelings of inadequacy. If you suspect this is the case, it’s important to try to get your partner to open up to the possibility of getting help. Unfortunately, aggressive probing of personal issues will likely cause your partner to withdraw, so you need to know how to do it.

In most cases, understand the why will prevent you from a good amount of resentment towards your partner. Avoid an accusatory approach—instead let your partner know you are just trying to understand them better.

Work towards a “couples’ answer”.  At the heart of all strong relationships is the ability to hear two (often different) points of view and create a “couples’ answer” that both partners can support. For example, if your partner is willing to set aside time for just the two of you, you might agree to let them work late hours on other days without guilt-tripping or nagging them.

Set aside time for the two of you. Many workaholics run on extremely tight schedules, and often let work hours bleed into their free time. This leaves little room for the “down time” couples need to strengthen their relationship.

Talk to your partner about designating a time that is just for the two of you, like a date night or even a quick lunch. It doesn’t have to be a huge block of time, but it is important that the time is dedicated to your relationship. This means no email checking!

Focus on yourself. Part of maintaining a strong couple relationship involves a frank look at ways you and your partner can adapt to each other’s lifestyle. You may find a considerable amount of strain lifted from your relationship if you find ways to occupy your time when your partner is unavailable, like making new friends or developing a new hobby.

Finding value outside your relationship is a way of growing and maintaining your separate self.

Schedule a counseling session. Don’t be afraid of therapy. It’s not just for couples on the rocks (although it’s certainly helpful in those situations). A Delaware therapist can serve as a coach/guide while you work out answers that allow your relationship to continue to grow in a positive way.