The stressful holiday season can put a strain on all your relationships—familial and romantic.

But couples have added stresses. Between travelling long distances, visiting each other’s families, wading through crowded shopping malls, and the like, there’s a lot of opportunity for things to get heated between you and your partner.

Luckily, there a number of ways that you can effectively diffuse the tension of the holiday, helping you make it to the New Year with your spirt, sanity, and relationship intact. Here a few ways for you and your partner to get the most out of the holidays while keeping a lid on the seasonal stress.

Create a Game Plan

It’s a good idea to go over a game plan with your spouse or partner before the holidays begin. Bring up any concerns or obligations that you have for the impending holidays, and flesh out a game plan for tackling the bigger challenges you face this year.

The advantage of planning ahead is two-fold. First, you will be better prepared in general for the big holiday monsters like family visits and travel. Second, bringing up major concerns beforehand helps start a working dialogue between you and your partner—making the two of you better able to communicate whenever unexpected sources of tension occur.

Take a Non-Holiday Break

Holidays, by the very definition of the word, are supposed to be a break from work – yet they can be the most stressful time of the year.

So take a vacation from your vacation, and spend some time with your partner doing non-holiday activities. When you focus too much on impending travel, shopping, dinners, and the like, you’re liable to lose the perspective that helps you stay sane during the holidays.

A non-holiday date can provide a welcome relief from the rushing around of the season, and allow the two of you to spend some time focusing on your relationship. Do something wholly unrelated to the holiday—like going to a museum or a movie. Take some time to relax and avoid talking about all the things on your to-do list.

Remember What Is Important

Of course, the people closest to us are often the best at getting on our last nerve. This fact is rarely ever as apparent as during the stressful holiday season.

But before you allow anger to bubble over into something you’ll regret, remember to be grateful that you have someone to spend the holidays with—even if he or she is driving you a little crazy.

During the holiday season, it’s important to keep perspective on what actually matters most. Though it can be stressful to spend time with in-laws, or wade through the throngs of black holiday shoppers, remember why you do it.

For example, visiting in-laws may be stressful—but to your partner, it may be the only time he or she will get to spend with family all year. Shopping might be tense, but keep in mind the goal is to remind the people you love how much you care about them.

If you and your partner find yourselves at wit’s end with each other, don’t despair – Delaware marriage therapy can help by providing you with the tools you need to get back on track.

As a Delaware marriage counselor, I understand how tough it can be for couples after all their children grow up and leave home. For years, a large part of your identity was likely based on being a parent, and when your adult kids no longer need you on a daily basis, you’re left to reform your identity and revisit your relationship with your partner. This isn’t a bad thing, but some couples struggle to figure out their new relationship dynamic in the absence of their kids. Sound like you? See if this relationship advice helps.

How Couples Can Survive the Empty Nest: Tips from a Delaware Marriage Counselor

Stay curious about your partner. When your kids lived at home, you probably asked them how their day at school was or what they were planning on doing over the weekend. You should make an effort to be just as curious about your partner. You might think that you know everything there is to know about one another, but you may be surprised about the new things you can learn if you just keep asking questions.

Make time for dates. Setting aside time for dates may have been a challenge when you had young kids at home, but one of the benefits of having an empty nest is that you have more time to go out with your partner. Take this opportunity to reinvent your date night: go to new restaurants that you both want to try, take turns planning dates for one another, explore parts of your town or city that you haven’t spent much time in. Doing these types of activities together will help you get to know each other again.

Learn a new skill together. If you find yourself thinking about your kids a lot once they leave home, talk to your partner about learning a new skill together. You might try learning a language, taking up a sport, doing a craft project, or just about anything else the two of you can think of. Learning something together will give you more time to bond and also help keep you from missing your kids as much.

Help each other stay in touch with your kids. Remember that just because your kids are no longer living at home doesn’t mean you’ll never see or hear from them again. You and your partner can set up times when you can both call or Skype with your kids, or plan a trip to a child’s college campus for Parents’ Weekend.

Talk to a Delaware marriage counselor. If you and your partner are struggling with empty nest syndrome or wondering where your relationship is going after your children leave home, you should consider talking to a Delaware marriage counselor. Having an empty nest can be a tough transition, and you and your partner should feel like you have support as you transition to this new stage of your life.