building trust

Learning to Trust Each Other

May 24, 2019

Do you trust your partner?

This may be a hard question to answer, especially in the weeks or months after a betrayal. Sometimes, it feels like without trust the entire foundation of your relationship has crumbled. Betrayals, lies, or even miscommunications can shake this foundation like an earthquake.

But it’s possible to rebuild. It’s possible to learn to trust each other, or learn to trust each other again.

Like learning to do the dishes or validate your partner, learning to trust each other is a lifelong process. Are you ready to bring trust back into your relationship?

How to Begin the Process of Building Trust

Before reaching out to your partner, look within. Do you trust that you will make the effort to learn to trust again? Do you trust that you will open up and face uncomfortable truths through this process? You don’t have to answer with a confident “yes” just yet, but know that this road is not always smooth.

Once you’re ready to rebuild within your relationship, it’s time to communicate your intentions to your partner. This can be hard. Many people fear that telling this to their partner implies that they don’t have any trust in the first place. Find a good time to talk to your partner and tell them the ways that you do trust them. Follow up these affirmations with your intentions and an invitation for your partner to share their feelings.

When both partners are on the same page, it’s time to start making the effort to build trust within the relationship. It’s important for both partners to recognize that building trust requires forgiving or allowing yourself to be forgiven for any past issues. It also requires being honest, taking responsibility for your actions, and embracing self-growth.

If this process is the result of a break of trust, it can feel hard to pick up the pieces. Things may crumble a second or third time. But when both partners are committed to building trust through honesty, self-reflection, and effort, the foundations of your trust can be rebuilt into a strong home.

The blueprint for building trust is not always easy to find. Talk to a relationship therapist for more information about learning to trust each other and using that trust to build a strong, loving relationship.

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Walt Ciecko, Ph. D., BCB
605 Wynyard Rd
Wilmington, DE 19803