Delaware Counselor: Myths that Interfere with True Relationship Building

delware relationship counselor relationship mythsBeing in a relationship can be wonderful. But it also requires work and effort from both partners in order to continue to grow closer and keep the relationship strong.

Unfortunately, when we enter into a relationship, we don’t always know or realize how much work it actually takes. That part is rarely shown in movies or TV shows. We tend to only see the romanticized parts, and we come into our own relationships with preconceived notions and even myths about what a couple is supposed to look like.

Unfortunately, these myths can interfere with true relationship building and leave you stuck with the idea of what a relationship should be instead of the reality of what a relationship is.

So let’s take a look at 3 common relationship myths and turn them on their head.

Myth #1: If you’re with the right person, everything will come easy.

That sounds great, but it isn’t true. Even with people you love unconditionally, there will be challenges in your relationship that you will have to work through. Some things won’t be easy. You will have to put forth the effort to deal with issues as they arise and communicate openly and honestly with your partner if you want to find a couple’s answer to your problems. There will be struggles, but that’s perfectly normal.

If, however, everything is a struggle with your partner, then there might be some fundamental issues with your relationship that you need to address. But even then, you can still have a successful, long term relationship as long as both of you are willing to put forth the effort.

Myth #2: All you need is love.

While this is great in theory, relationships are more complicated than this platitude suggests. Of course love is vital to a relationship. Without it, there isn’t really a relationship at all. But it’s not the only thing necessary to make a relationship work.

In fact, it’s all the other stuff – finances, lifestyle, beliefs, interests, and so on – that will usually make or break a relationship. What love can do is motivate you to work on your issues and forge a relationship based on communication, kindness, and mutual respect and understanding.

Myth #3: Couples in good relationships don’t fight.

You and your partner aren’t always going to get along swimmingly. You’re going to disagree and argue over things both little and big that come up throughout your relationship. It’s just what happens when people are together over time.

That being said, how you handle conflict can be very telling. If every time you and your partner disagree, it always ends up with yelling and stomping out of a room, then you’re not handling the conflict in a productive way. Productive conflict happens when you and your partner communicate, problem solve, make resolutions, and form a couple’s answer to your problems.

Good couples fight. They just do so in a way that’s productive to the relationship.

And just to be crystal clear, avoiding a fight doesn’t appease the situation. If you are constantly avoiding having an argument with your partner, you’re not dealing with the issue at hand. Over time, these issues will continue to be brought to the surface until you confront them.

When you’re in a relationship, you want to make sure that you are always building and growing that relationship to deepen and strengthen your connection. By doing this and forgetting about these relationship myths, you’ll be well on your way to having a happy, healthy, and long-lasting relationship.

Contact a Delaware relationship counselor if you and your partner need help combatting these myths and getting your relationship back on track.

Walt Ciecko, Ph. D., BCB
605 Wynyard Rd
Wilmington, DE 19803